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Last week I rambled about how to drive the road thingie in the middle of Gettysburg. I explained that thingie, which looks like a circle, is called The Circle. Part II consists of a primer of more driving pointers for in and out of Gettysburg.

If youre on a road outside of town just after a rain on a warm summer night, dont be alarmed to see little things illuminated by your headlights hopping in front of you. Theyre toads. A road with toads is poetically termed, by some natives, a toad road. Toad roads are not particularly dangerous, and swerving your car to miss a toad is not recommended.

If you're on a road outside of town at any time other than after a rain on a warm summer night, and you see little things illuminated by your headlights hopping in front of you, call me. Youre obviously under the influence of a drug and should not be on the road. I, or a friend, will come and drive you to your destination.

If youre south of town and want to get to the north end like I wanted to one July Fourth weekend, its easier to take Route 15 to Harrisburg, get on the Pennsylvania Turnpike towards Pittsburgh, and take the Route 34 exit near Carlisle. Trust me. This is in the newspaper, so it has to be true.

Dont park on roads, particularly on or near the battlefield, unless its specifically posted otherwise. Parking on roads and leaving your car ties up traffic and sometimes allows other people equally inconsiderate the ability to stand on your cars roof to get a better view of the battlefield. Its happened. And your cars roof, well, your cars roof is just not made for people to stand on. Convertibles have proven to be somewhat of an advantage in you wish to park on a road. Even inconsiderate people arent stupid enough to try to stand on a rag top.

And if youre driving through the battlefield, keep in mind that your are driving. Im not trying to be difficult, but the battlefield roads can be loaded with bicyclists, motorcyclists, pedestrians, tour buses, small pets, white tail deer, and other automobiles. If you think its crazy driving on the beltway around your favorite city during rush hour, wait until you see some of the popular battlefield roads on a busy summer day! Exercise extreme caution.

And be particularly watchful of the big boulders and commemorative monuments along side of the road. Theyve been known, on numerous occasions, to jump out in front of automobiles and cause severe damage. Then they move back to their original positions, pulling your car with them. To the innocently naive, it looks like you ran off the road into the object. This is not the case.

In Gettysburg there are few right turn on red lights. During peak tourism weekends each summer, you cant do much of anything at a red light in historic Gettysburg but wait and try to figure out how long its going to take you to get to your destination, or promise yourself that next time you buy a car, youll get one with air conditioning. At most lights, the right lane is for through traffic and right turns. The left lane is for left turns. If youre turning right, wait for the green light and watch out for pedestrians. Youll know them when you see them. Theyre the people on foot that seem to be moving faster than you and your car are.

If you get a real hankering to turn right on red, youll have to go to the intersection of Steinwehr and South Washington and pray for a red light. If you get a green light instead, I suggest you drive in to Tommys and have a pizza. Good stuff, and nice people run the place. When you leave, you can wait in the parking lot for a red light. Then you can turn right on red.

Do not park your car after 2:00 am on some streets in town, particularly in the downtown area. Its OK to park someone elses car there after 2:00, especially if you dont like the person. Between 2:00 am and 6:00 am is when the Borough sweeps the streets. The sweeping machine is a gigantic metallic thing thats computer programmed to actually consume anything smaller than a Lincoln. Anything larger will be ticketed.

And lastly, most of the side streets in town that you think would run somewhat parallel to the street youre on run somewhat parallel to the street youre on. Keep in mind that hundreds of other tourists might be thinking they can get to their destination faster on those same side streets. Youre welcome to join them in their quest, but the four way stop signs will kill you. During the peak tourism season, it just takes time. Slow yourself down and take a break. Youre on vacation, right?